Are you a lover of simulation video games? You are in the right place! Or maybe not. Yes, because we clarify it immediately: today we will not talk about the hyper-realistic physics and attention to detail of Flight Simulator. And we won’t say a word about the ultimate game of life: The Sims. No: today we will go to discover the most absurd simulation games never put on the market. Games that made us feel the incredible thrill of impersonating rocks, mosquitoes, deranged surgeons and even a tree (strictly in first person).
Before starting it is good to make a brief note, to clarify the topic even to those new to the videogame world. THE simulation videogames are, as the term suggests, games that simulate certain more or less real dynamics. Some well-known examples are Farming Simulator (which takes players into realistic farm management); Truck Simulator (which puts us at the wheel of articulated lorries through real routes); Microsoft Flight Simulator and many others.
Having said that, forget about realism. Here we enter the madness.
Developed and distributed by RuneStorm in 2015, Viscera Cleanup Detail takes us to a mysterious space station of which we are… well of which we are the attendants. We will have to rclean and polish the entire area, removing alien offal and the blood of mysterious creatures. Yes, because experiments are carried out on the space station, and someone will have to clean up.
Vivi the exciting life of a slice of bread, from the moment it is sliced to the inevitable toast that awaits it. I am bread – and the name says it all – was developed and distributed by Bossa Studios for PC, PlayStation 4, Xbox One and even mobile. The same softwarehouse has developed other masterpieces of the absurd videogame, such as Surgeon Simulator which we will talk about immediately below.
From the creators of I am Bread we could not expect another masterpiece, indeed two more! Indeed Surgeon Simulator (2013) had a sequel in 2020, particularly appreciated among medical and surgical students not admitted to the entrance tests. A grotesque surgical simulation game that doesn’t take itself too seriously, with the possibility of operating alien bodies as well. In short, do not ask yourself why between scalpels and forceps there are also nails and hammer. Definitely among the most absurd simulation games around.
“Beeeeeh” this could not be missing, also due to its popularity. Having become a true cult title, Goat Simulator is preparing to launch the third chapter of the craziest goat franchise ever (out November 2022). What is it about? “Well” (cit protagonist of the game) we are a goat and we will have to unleash the fires of hell in a quiet town. Overturned buses, fires, explosions, chaos and terror. All because of a very spiteful ruminant. The franchise has been so loved that a musical is coming soon (no, we’re not kidding).
The incredible aim of the pigeons and their passion for monuments, clean cars and well-dressed people will never be talked about enough. And there will never be enough of it.
We stay with the theme of animals, and we move into the family of insects, certainly the most loved by mankind. Mister Mosquito is absolute nonsense released in 2001 for PlayStation 2. The game puts us in the shoes (or rather in the wings) of an annoying mosquito that to survive must suck the blood from the members of a family. These, of course, will do everything to put an end to the life of the insect. So, just to remind us how it feels about the other side. The game was a real hit in Japan, and it doesn’t surprise us very much.
No, the title does not refer to the popular wrestler or the adrenaline-pumping musical genre. Rock Simulator takes us into the (otherwise absent) life of a stone. We will be able to do many things, like looking around as the days go by and the seasons alternate. Sounds funny, right?
If you think the simulation games on rocks are absurd, you haven’t seen the ones on trees yet. Tree Simulator does worse than Rock Simulator by introducing first person view. We will be trees looking at other trees in a forest of trees. If we are okay with it, to spice things up a bit, we will lose a few leaves. But do not worry, in spring we will bloom again.
In practice we are gods organ traffickers in a dystopian future in boundless space. We will deal with price and goods to dominate the black market. The game came out at the end of 2021, and this April it also arrived for the Nintendo Switch. Don’t ask us why, at this point in the article we take everything for granted (even William Shakespeare’s spleen in the trailer).
In the role of a homeless man, Bum Simulator takes us in the life of a man who has lost everything, and is forced to seek solutions (often creative and of dubious morality) to survive on the street. The game was released last year (in August 2021), the result of the incredible development work of Ragged Games, and is currently available for sale on Steam. A politically incorrect simulator, but also terribly realistic.
Let’s lift our spirits with one of the simulation games most loved by germophobics. A title released less than a month ago (in July 2022), which we reviewed with great pleasure. Not shotguns, but pressure washers. Put some flowers in your water cleaners. Do the cleaning, not the war. We could go on and on, but in essence the meaning is: take the pump and restore objects and areas covered with dust and stubborn dirt to their splendor, both alone and in multiplayer. Also available on Xbox Game Pass.
We still stay on the cleaning theme, but this time we interpret a latest generation robot vacuum cleaner. Any word, at this point, seems superfluous to us.
In this huge article we have seen so many bad games. This, however, could beat them all. In the shoes of a bus driver, we will have to drive our vehicle on a seven-hour journey of despair, from Tucson (Arizona) to Los Angeles (Nevada). The road will be practically all straight, but it’s not all that simple: it will not be possible to pause or put down the controller to make the game do all the work. In fact, the bus will tend to skid and, in the unfortunate event that it goes off the road, it will go back to Tucson and have to start over.
Ah, small detail: the vehicle will return at normal speed, so you will have to wait for the bus to make its entire return journey. No wonder it’s considered one of the worst video games in history.
Some games could be talked about for hours, days and even weeks. Of this no.
Originally released in 1998 for PlayStation 1, the title well represents the psychophysical condition of the Japanese developers at the time of conception. A mystical journey between visions and hallucinations, all obviously without the slightest sense. From the country that Takeshi’s Castle gave us, we didn’t expect anything too different.
The world lacked a true home brewing simulator, and then Auroch Digital took care of it. In reality this, which looks like a videogame as atypical as it is spectacular, has not yet come out, although the release is expected by the end of the year. Despite this, the trailer seems extremely accurate in detail and, however absurd in the concept, it could be one of the best simulators of the year.
Everyone loves lawnmowers! All … well, all but the blades of grass, but that matters little. Lawn Mowing Simulator leverages this universal love for those colorful and very slow agricultural machines thanks to which we always have a well-kept garden. Sure, a timed racing mode would have made it more adrenaline-pumping, but this isn’t GTA, and farmers don’t like racing.
We close this list of the most absurd simulation games ever with another title from the Rising Sun. In this crazy but romantic but psychopathic video game we will play the role of the very young …
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