The world of dating app continues to evolve, providing users looking for partners with different functions and possibilities. There are applications to quickly choose who interests you based on photographs, others that ask you to fill in long profiles. Apps for the over 50s, the LGBTQI+ friendly ones, for people with a thousand different interests. Among these, one of the most discussed in recent days is Tame: a dating app that promises to let you talk to only one partner at a time and to eliminate the specter of ghosting. Something that might be of interest to many users, but which for so many others online makes the app controversial.
Tame, the dating app that connects you to one partner at a time
Tame’s system (here the official site, where you can also download the apps for iOS and Android) is quite simple in concept: you can only talk to one person at a time. According to the site, this “it encourages you to really give the other person a chance.”
Instead of the now-classic Tinder approach of swiping that makes you swipe through a series of photos and information about other people, Tame promises a slower approach. In fact, it asks you to fill in a series of questions in a questionnaire to evaluate the interests of users. If another person likes your profile, will have to answer a series of questions that you have set yourself. Once you read the replies, you can choose whether to start messaging.
No ghosting
The site promises to only show you active users in the last week, so you don’t waste your time with a person who is no longer interested in using the app. Furthermore, it promises to nullify the phenomenon of ghosting: stop writing to an online user without giving reasons. Instead, you can choose from a long list of options for not hearing from your match: from “the spark has not struck” to “the partner does not respond”.
But if you stop writing for “incorrect behavior“, Tame promises to investigate the matter: the platform adopts a “zero tolerance policy for hate speech and non-civil behaviour“. In other words, if you receive unwanted photos or if the other user writes offensive things, you can get Tame to take action (or so the app managers report).
There are also security checks for verify your identity, in order to avoid fake or problematic profiles, something many dating apps implement. Verification takes place via a selfie and Tame assures that he will not archive this selfie in any way.
A way to “feed human connections” or a problematic app
In Tame’s description of its dating app, the team of creators explains that the goal of this service is to “feeding human connections”. According to the team, image swiping reduces people to individual images (although almost every dating app has an interest profile to fill out). The possibility of basing oneself on one’s own interests and speaking to only one person at a time should instead allow for get to know people better. The fact that before moving on to another match it is necessary to explain the reason for the disinterest should fuel the interest in treating one’s match gracefully.
But online several users have pointed out how this philosophy can be problematic. Often on dating apps you leave a conversation because the other person said or did something you consider out of place. But the writer does not always want to give explanations. Tame explained on Instagram that there remains the option to choose “prefer not to say” in these cases.
Tame, the most criticized dating app
Another criticism made is of the post which says to “maintain a fair gender ratio“. A post that according to some users would suggest an app exclusively for heterosexuals. However, the Tame team explained that this option only applies to those who indicate “heterosexual” in their profile, while the app is open to everyone.
However, it remains clear that the app is not intended for those who intend to have more than one partner. Many online criticize this choice, which seems to want to judge negatively those who choose this lifestyle. Even if those who are not interested can simply avoid downloading it. Dating apps like Tame, which have particular nuances, become by their nature exclusive: not everyone will be interested in using them.
“What is a name?”
The last criticism made, especially by the English-speaking public, regards the name: “Tame” in English means “to tame” (just think that the original name of the Shakespearean work The Taming of the Shrew is The Taming of the Shrew). But since the app is based in France, it seems if inspired by “your soul”, I love you in french. In short, the creators would seem to have been inspired more by Jacques Prévert than by William Shakespeare. Although, since the marketing material is all in English, perhaps they should have given more thought to the name.
You may or may not like the premise of this application. And the more skeptical should perhaps wait a bit before signing up, also considering the fact that the app requires payment for a subscription. The possibility that the app will filled with “disappointed” by Tinder who don’t want to accept that someone stops responding to messages, which many users suggest on social media, seems quite high.
Tame seems to have had more than a few communication problems: but it’s just for these more controversial aspects that the dating app has made headlines. If you think this “app monogamy” is for you, you can find the official address here. Otherwise you can continue to use the apps you prefer, writing to as many people as you like. In any case, remember that it is your love and sex life: no one has the right to judge you.