On the occasion of World Parents’ Day, which again this year falls on June 1st, here is the review of I love you, even if …, a small masterpiece for young and old
TITLE: I love you, even though … AUTHOR: Debbie Gliori KIND: Children’s literature PUBLISHING HOUSE: Mondadori YEAR OF PUBLICATION: 1999
What do our children think when we don’t listen to them? Or when, maybe tired, we scream and get angry? What goes through their minds in times of crisis? These are questions that a parent very often it arises but to which it almost never manages to give an answer. Or rather, probably also taken by the moment and the thousand other things to do, we adults don’t even give the right weight to the words or actions addressed to our little ones. We minimize it, convincing ourselves that it is right to react in a certain way to educate and raise them. Through this review, we will try to better understand our children’s minds.
Mini e Maxi, definitely not random names, are a puppy fox and an adult fox, identified as the mother. Mini is a bit capricious, very grouchy and convinced that he is not loved for that too. Maxi explains to him that, regardless of everything, he will always love him but the little one is not convinced and starts asking several questions: will he love him even if he becomes a bear? A crocodile? And when it’s gone, will love end? Maxi, holding him in her arms, explains to him that his love will never end and nothing will change, even when he is gone.
I love you, even if … is a book able to address important issues such as loneliness, abandonment and death. There fear of abandonmentabove all, seen from the eyes of a child can teach a lot. Mini tests the attachment figure and his love, asking questions and seeking reassurance. Kind of like our children do, isn’t it? They fill our heads with questions and doubts because they are the first to want to understand and solve those dilemmas that torment them.
Among the pages of this register it is easy to meet emotions that are the protagonists of our days. Children are difficult to understand and manage, many times the path we choose to take, because perhaps apparently faster, is that of shout, to scold e to punish our baby. We are convinced that, by doing so, he can learn the right education, he can understand, but this is not the case.
The first teaching that we adults, parents or educators give, is the visual one. You know the old saying “Watching you learn“? Well yes, that’s exactly how it works. One, if not the first, form of learning is that ofobservational learning. The child observes, even before being able to replicate the actions or speak, stores, reflects, absorbs those notions, retraces those actions and, at the right moment, the repeats. By shouting and screaming at him, blaming him or punishing him, we are teaching him to do exactly the same thing. Unknowingly we are telling him that shouting to make himself understood is fine, that those who are older can punish and that punishing is good. We are making him feel inferior, wrong, inexorably undermining his self-esteem.
Mini is, in fact, afraid of being abandoned and is convinced that nobody likes him because he is spiteful, because nobody wants to play with him. He blames himself, without realizing it, and almost as if to reiterate that he is superior (because he wants to convince himself of it) screams that he is angry.
“My little one, what happens?” Mom said.
“I’m angry and I feel like teasing” replied Mini “Nobody plays with me here, nobody loves me”.
“Oh darling” Mom said “I love you even though you are spiteful and angry today.”
Mini knows it is angry and he shouts it, says it, as if to test his mother. Maxi lo accept, heartens him and listens to him reminding him that, even if spiteful and angry, she loves him. With a simple affirmation, the mother was able to welcome and not refuse, to make him feel loved and appreciated despite the defects. He explains the meaning of life, holding him close. And it is precisely from Maxi that we must learn: to accept your child, guard it, pamper him ed teach him the life with love. Maxi non he yelled, explained things to him, managing to catch him with words. Non he punished him, although capricious, he caressed and guided him.
This is the role of the parent: guard and guide.
Don’t get me wrong though, punishments must be given but must be followed by one explanation, a compromise, a hug. Only the warmth of a parent can dissolve a child’s doubts and fears.
If you are interested in reading other illustrated books for the little ones, here you will find some interesting ones!
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